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TOILET PAPER COMPANY
MAKES THE NEWS!

Who Gives A Crap is tired of all the bad news in the world, so they made their own feel good newspaper! Learn about the company’s exciting new social impact partners PLUS... Scandals! Politics! Ridiculous classifieds! Weather!

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Don't need toilet paper but still want to read The Daily Crap? Click here!

~ BREAKING NEWS ~

 It’s raining cats and dogs • Who Gives A Crap announces two new charity partners! • Shocking discovery! Parents can’t go to the toilet alone • Exclusive: the right way to hang toilet paper is over not under • The US issues a formal apology for creating cheese-in-a-can • The US redacts its cheese-in-a-can-apology • Sally the Giant Poodle wins gold in Waggiest Tail Competition • Toilet paper company hires poke through tester • Study: dogs are 67% better than humans • This week’s winning lottery numbers: 80085 • If you’re reading this, hi dad! • Experts issue warning: don’t run out of toilet paper • Shocking! Are you still reading this? • Exclusive! People still read things... •
 It’s raining cats and dogs • Who Gives A Crap announces two new charity partners! • Shocking discovery! Parents can’t go to the toilet alone • Exclusive: the right way to hang toilet paper is over not under • The US issues a formal apology for creating cheese-in-a-can • The US redacts its cheese-in-a-can-apology • Sally the Giant Poodle wins gold in Waggiest Tail Competition • Toilet paper company hires poke through tester • Study: dogs are 67% better than humans • This week’s winning lottery numbers: 80085 • If you’re reading this, hi dad! • Experts issue warning: don’t run out of toilet paper • Shocking! Are you still reading this? • Exclusive! People still read things... •

~ NON-FAKE NEWS ~

TWO NEW CHARITY PARTNERS ANNOUNCED

Who Gives A Crap announced today that two new charity partners are joining their growing toilet paper (non-evil) empire. In addition to current partners, WaterAid Australia and Sanergy, the startup company has welcomed Kenyan based organisations; Shining Hope Communities (SHOFCO) and Lwala Community Alliance into the fold. “Their impact is truly incredible and we couldn’t be more delighted to be making a $30,000 donation split across both organisations,” says Simon Griffiths CEO and Co-Founder of Who Gives A Crap.

Danny Alexander, Chief Creative Officer and Co-Founder of Who Gives A Crap says “SHOFCO basically does it all. They have schools, clinics, financial services, libraries and, of course, toilets. They’ve even built an innovative aerial water distribution service where clean drinking water is piped overhead, across the community eliminating chances of contamination and vandalism.” explains Alexander.

Learn more about SHOFCO

“Lwala has a similar integrated approach, offering a wide range of services to help their community thrive,” says Alexander. “They offer top-notch health services, but they also build toilets in schools and teach the importance of sanitation, plus so much more. They've been so successful, their county government has asked them to expand their offerings across the region.”

Learn more about Lwala

Help us have more impact

Spread the word and Top up on TP

~ LEAKED ~

1 IN 2 PEOPLE LOVE THE DAILY CRAP

In leaked customer feedback, it has been revealed that a majority of people have found The Daily Crap a quality read. Who Gives A Crap Co-Founder Danny Alexander’s mum, Wendy, has cut out many of the paper's articles and put them on the fridge. “I encourage everyone who has a keen interest in fake politics, world news and finance to get a copy of The Daily Crap.”


More wild promises to make you want a copy of this newspaper

  • A pretty hard crossword puzzle
  • Probably some typos
  • Unsubstantiated accusations
  • World news from the world
  • The latest finance stuff
  • Sporty things. Goal!
  • Totally fake classifieds...or are they?
  • Horoscopes (see below for yours!)

~ SHOCK DISCOVERY ~

WOMAN CLAIMS ‘I DON’T NEED TP’

A mother of two, ‘Megan’ who has asked not to reveal her full name, claims Who Gives A Crap toilet paper lasts a really long time. “What happens if I want to read The Daily Crap but I don’t need to re-order?” An insider at Who Gives A Crap has revealed fans of the written word can either download a copy here, or they can buy one for $5. As always 50% of profits are donated to help build toilets.

Need to make a life decision?

Enter your birthday and email to see your horoscope. Sorry in advance if it’s not true.

Enter your email address and Mystic Gina may send you the odd email with toilet paper news.

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THE FUN STUFF
  1. Softer than unicorn manes
  2. 50% of profits donated to help build toilets
  3. Made from forest friendly bamboo fibres
  4. Your interior decorator will thank you
  5. Double length rolls are a great deal at 32¢ per 100 sheets
  6. 1200% more puns in every box
  7. 100% money back guarantee
THE BORING (BUT STILL USEFUL) STUFF
  1. Double-length rolls have 370 sheets each
  2. Fits in almost all loo roll holders
  3. Sheets are 10x10cm each
  4. 3-ply is super soft and super strong
  5. Biodegradable
  6. A-ok for most septic tanks
  7. No inks, dyes or scents
We know you'll love our products, but if for any reason you don't, send them back for a full refund.